Okay so getting back into the topic of
“how to take care of a woman”.
2. Husbands/Children/Already Created Families.
I already dealt with “history of abuse” as best as I could in another thread but this time we’re going to talk about “Families” in lesbian relationships.
Now there’s the problem of your girlfriends mom and dad being totally against her being a lesbian and all that other stuff, which would really suck in a relationship. I haven’t encountered this particular problem myself because all my ex’s were…how should I put it again? Super dykes, who’s parents were well aware of the fact that they were gay. I think I just figured out another reason why I like butches so much. Butch lesbians, more often then not, have already dealt with the whole “parent issue“. Their parents either didn’t accept it and disowned them or accepted it and everything’s fine. All of this would happen long before I came along and I am grateful for that.
Another issue comes from the family your lover has created. Children, Ex boyfriend/husbands, and husbands. I’d hope most lesbians know better then to date a woman who was married, but um, no, not all do. I have a friend who seems to be addicted to dating married women. When I first met her she told me immediately how much she disliked bisexuals. I told her that wasn’t fair, just because she’s had bad run ins with bi’s doesn’t mean they’re all bad. Come to find out that not only is she still dating bisexuals, which she’s suppose to hate, more then half of them have husbands. SHEESH!
So yeah, I really wouldn’t suggest you do the husband thing unless you want to end up in some sort of commune/harem for this guy. Or worst have him find out, not like it, and come after you.
The children part is tricky but then again it isn’t. If you don’t want kids, don’t like kids, stay away from women with kids. That’s pretty easy ain’t it? Don’t be a jackass about it either. Don’t talk about all lesbians with kids like we’re subhuman or something. Do NOT date a woman with a kid and then act like you’re trying to get rid of the kid as much as possible or something. Understand that it is a packaged deal.
I have a child. Yes, that’s evidence that I fucked a guy at some point. No, I don’t need you to be that child’s new she-daddy. Piss me off and I’m still going to break up with you. There is no desperate single moms here. You’d be surprised how many men and women hit on me, because I have a child! Because they think I’m more vulnerable and will put up with more bullshit. Boy, do they ever get a rude awakening.
If your dating a woman with kids you have to remember “her child comes first”. If her child doesn’t come first and she repeatedly puts you over her kid, she’s a dumb ass. I know it’s hard. I’ve been there. You love this person, they make you happy (most of the time). The kid? you have to feed it, educate it and listen to it…at least half the time when it’s babbling away about “Sponge Bob” and singing the theme song to “Go, Deigo, Go”! But I just remind myself that even if I don’t find the woman of my dreams I’m stuck with my child FOREVER. So yeah, if I fuck him up it’s really gonna suck ass for me.
Besides, I’m a bigger fan of Sponge Bob then he is. Cute little queer Sponge that lives in a pinapple, what’s not to like about this show?
If you want to make a woman with a child really happy, try to do some family stuff with her. If she gets lazy (and I do) tell her you want to take the kid to the park, or go for a walk. Go to the movies, chucky cheese, somewhere…yes, be a big happy dykey family. It’s cute! Play with the kid(s), help decorate the nursery/kids room. Read books about raising children and child psychology, your girlfriend will totally be impressed! I would be impressed because I don’t have time to read those kinds of books. Get magazines like familyfun, familycircle, parents. Us single moms are busy, seriously, most of us wish we had time to read about stuff like that. Someone else reading them and then discussing that stuff with us would be a big help. Basically being part of a family can be fun, it ain’t going to be easy, but it can be fun. But if it’s not for you just figure that out ASAP. It’s one thing to have to break a girls heart but don’t break her and her kids heart!
Another weird thing about this. I’ve actually known women who wanted to date me because I have a child and not because that I’m more vulnerable, but because they want children. This can be cool or this can be creepy. Most people want something from someone which is why they’re dating them. Men want sex, women want emotional connection/support, some lesbians want your damn uterus. Everything in moderation. Love me for me, not because I have a little guy orbiting around me at all times. I’ve had a woman tell me the first time we talked on the phone that she wanted me to have a baby for her. Yep, that was about it as far as us talking. Think I’m too picky? She said my son was so cute she wanted me to make more of those little guys for her. Flattering as that was, still, really, creepy. Don’t do that.
3. Level of acceptance of homosexuality. As Undercover Punk mentioned there is always going to be one party in the relationship that’s more accepting then the other. However, I think having a partner that’s “in the closet” would wreck a relationship. My first relationship was “in the closet” sort of, because we were in the military. That and I hadn’t totally accepted being gay yet. So yeah that really destroyed the relationship. I really don’t know what advice to give for this part. I want to say if you fall in love with someone of the same sex and they love you, please be considerate of their emotions and don’t let fear get in the way. But that’s whack advice. Being gay just isn’t that cut and dry yet. I’m going to have to mull this over and find a way to not over simplify.
But yeah, just imagine how annoying it must be to be in a gay relationship with someone who
