Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Can Same-Sex Couples Get a Divorce in Tennessee?

The Associated Press reports that an Indiana court has refused to grant a divorce to a same-sex married couple.  In this case, the couple had married in Canada and eventually moved to South Bend, Indiana, where they are now seeking a divorce.  The Indiana court is refusing to hear the case because the marriage is illegal under Indiana law.

What about Tennessee, could a same-sex married couple be divorced here?

Divorce is a remedy that may be awarded by a court.  Tennessee uses a fault-based system for dissolving a marriage.  This means that in order to be awarded a divorce, you must prove to the court that either your spouse has acted in a way that gives you adequate grounds for divorce, or that irreconcilable differences have arisen between the parties.

Either way, the award of a divorce is only appropriate if a marriage had actually existed between the parties.  The question is then, would this couple’s marriage be valid in Tennessee?  After a much publicized battle and vote, our state constitution was amended to read:

The historical institution and legal contract solemnizing the relationship of one (1) man and one (1) woman shall be the only legally recognized marital contract in this state. Any policy or law or judicial interpretation, purporting to define marriage as anything other than the historical institution and legal contract between one (1) man and one (1) woman, is contrary to the public policy of this state and shall be void and unenforceable in Tennessee. If another state or foreign jurisdiction issues a license for persons to marry and if such marriage is prohibited in this state by the provisions of this section, then the marriage shall be void and unenforceable in this state.

It may seem unfair, but since Tennessee cannot recognize a same-sex marriage, the courts cannot award a judgment of divorce to these couples.  This is exactly the same situation as in Indiana.

Vera Vision—Masquerade Ballin’, Pt 1.

When Tawny’s husband mentioned he wanted to spice up their sex life, she didn’t think an orgy was what he had in mind.

It was a Friday night. The sky was clear and if one tried hard enough, they could see all the constellations. Tawny was stuck working on a major deadline for her company and was trying her hardest to finish it so she can at least have a late dinner. Completing the project an hour later, Tawny arrived home from a long day at work. She was exhausted, hungry and didn’t have any plans other than to veg out on her sofa, catching up with her shows. However, her husband, Oleg, had other plans. He left a big wrapped box at the doorstep with just a tiny note attached: Put this on and meet me at 2650 Market Street.
Keep your mind open and your options available.

Tawny quickly unwrapped the box and saw a dress that left little to the imagination. A slinky black number that was low-cut and high-cut up her thighs. Suddenly, Tawny was no longer tired and exhausted but quite curious as to what Oleg had in store for her. She assumed it was going to be a nightclub based on the dress. Shaking her head and muttering how tired she was to be out dancing, Tawny followed Oleg’s instructions and put the dress on. She freshened up her look by adding a bit of makeup and putting her long hair in a bun. Then she was off to her unknown destination.

Carefully following the GPS guide, Tawny pulled up to a palatial estate. She double-checked to see if she had the correct address. Sure enough, it was. As she pulled up to the gated entrance, the gates automatically opened. Still unsure, Tawny carefully drove her Corolla inside, alert of any suspicious activity. She followed the curve to the front of the mansion and was in awe. Everything she had read in books and seen in magazines was right before her very eyes. And Tawny felt she was completely out of place. What was a city girl like her doing at a private residence? Who did Oleg know at that place?

All questions were answered when she saw her husband walk out of the front doors, smiling. He was wearing a business suit with an open collar. Clearly, he knew something she didn’t. Tawny turned off the car and greeted him, questioning who he knew and why he was there. Oleg simply shrugged off Tawny’s questions and led her inside. If Tawny thought the mansion was gorgeous on the outside, nothing compared to how it looked on the inside. 17th century art work and antique furniture adorned the mansion. Exquisite lighting was provided by various chandeliers every few feet. The wall paint color was shiny dulce de leche, making the glamour stand out even more. It was fit for royalty. It was fit for the very rich. It was fit for people who were not Tawny and Oleg.

Oleg grabbed two masks and put them on him and Tawny. Once again, Tawny gave him a puzzled look but Oleg just brushed her off. He grabbed two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and handed one to his wife, who quickly downed hers. Oleg smiled and gave his glass to Tawny. He rubbed her back and kissed her temple, silently assuring her to trust him. Tawny let out a sigh and finally relaxed. She still didn’t know what the hell was going on but was willing to try to enjoy her night. Oleg grabbed her hand and led her through the mansion. Walking through the halls, the familiar noises of moaning and screaming indicated there was more to the masquerade ball than what met her eye. She passed by a room and saw a threesome. She passed by another one and saw two women 69′ing each other with a crowd of men watching. She passed through several more rooms with similar scenes and situations. It didn’t take long for Tawny to realize why she was dressed sexily and the mask on her face.

She was going to get fucked that night. It was just a matter by whom….

*Above model is Jessica Drue; photography is by model mayhem/toxic imaging*

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Alice's New Toy

An idea that came from a silly end to some fun roleplay. My first time writing something like this.

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Aliciena ran quickly through the Under City, her ink and blood stained robes flapping ridiculously around her frail body. Her dark purple coloured hair streamed behind her and in her thin arms she carried a small cloth wrapped bundle that she clung to desperately. The small Forsaken woman shoved her way through the crowds of merchants, military, and civilians only slowing as she reached her destination: the Apothecarium. She paused only briefly, a small unsure frown on her lips, before she slipped down a narrow side passage.

Most only saw the upper levels of the Apothecarium where the most mundane work was done, including the construction of the Abominations. But Aliciena had been here before and asked enough questions to know that there was much more. She walked carefully down the dimly lit passage, cautiously stepping down a long set of steep stairs. At the bottom was the real realm of the apothecaries, where their most important or most personal experiments took place. Though as Aliciena reached the dark, fairly small room at the bottom, she found it empty. She sighed quietly and turned to leave as another Forsaken woman came out of a side room.

“Excuse me, do you need something?” the apothecary asked.

Aliciena turned and smiled in relief. She walked closer to the new comer, letting her gaze wander openly over her. She was taller than Aliciena by at least a head, not that it was an amazing feat, and clad in the black robes of her profession. They hid most of her body, but even with the significant covering, it was easy to tell she was thicker built than most Forsaken women and had a larger chest. Aliciena caught herself staring and quickly jerked her gaze up. The apothecary’s face was pretty, despite the prominent hole in her left cheek that allowed anyone to see her tongue and teeth move as she spoke. Her hair was short and stood up messily, its colour a strange pale green that may have been blond in life.

“Yes, I do,” Aliciena said in her soft voice, adopting her sweetest smile as she stepped up in front of the other, “Do you do…aug…augmen…”

“Augmentations?” the apothecary offered helpfully.

“That! Do you?”

“Usually Apothecary Vordin does that, but I can as well. What do you wish to have augmented?” the apothecary questioned. Her gaze began to wander over Aliciena’s face and body, eventually stopping on her nearly flat chest. “Let me guess…breasts?”

“No! I like my tits just fine, thank you!” Aliciena said with a huff, drawing her arms and the package she held up over her chest self consciously.

“To each their own, I guess. Come this way,” the apothecary said with a shrug, turning to lead the way into another room, “I’m Apothecary Gerhnt, but you can call me Cara.”

“I’m Aliciena…but Alice is fine too.”

The pair walked a ways into the depths of the Apothecarium, following another set of stairs down until they finally ended in a small room. Cara closed and bolted a heavy iron bound door behind them before motioning Alice toward a low wooden table in the centre of the room. Opposite the two was a large mirror that covered nearly the entire wall and Aliciena caught herself staring vainly as she moved to sit on the table. She adjusted her long hair, pushing it back away from her cute round face, the pale white flesh marred only by a few small bone spurs that she had carefully filed down. Her yellowish eyes were heavily lidded, giving her a sleepy, bemused look. She set her bundle down on the table and turned to the side, cupping her breasts with a soft sigh. Even in her small hands, they barely made a handful.

“Rethinking the breast augments?” Cara asked with a smirk.

“No, they’re fine,” Alice said shyly, dropping her hands.

“As long as you like them, they are,” the apothecary said soothingly, “So, what are we augmenting today?”

“It is a little embarrassing,” Aliciena said quietly, dropping her gaze.

“I’ve heard all kinds of strange requests, dear, you can’t shock me.”

With an unsure smile, Alice reached over and pulled the cloth wrapping off her bundle. Cara simply gasped in surprise before leaning closer to inspect the item. It was a small glass jar that had been sealed tightly. Within was a penis that had clearly been taken from its original owner without consent before being frozen in crystal clear ice. The apothecary looked at the other woman and back to the jar a few times before standing up straight.

“I…want it attached to me,” Alice explained quietly, “But only if we can think of a way to remove it and put it back on whenever I like.”

“Are you sure? This is a big deal, not something silly to do for a passing lover,” Cara said, stepping closer to Alice and touching her shoulder lightly.

Alice nodded quickly, smiling at the apothecary. “I’m sure. It is what I want.”

“Alright then,” Cara sighed softly, “Wait here. I need to go get a few things. Go ahead and take your clothes off.”

The apothecary turned and left the room quickly, leaving the door slightly ajar. Alice peered out into the hallway before she shrugged out of her robe, letting the material fall to the floor. She wore nothing underneath and slipped onto the table in the nude, stretching her legs out slightly. Glancing over at the mirror, she smirked and turned toward it. She spread her legs and leaned back on one hand, looking over her thin, fragile body with vain admiration. Her free hand ran over her chest lightly, soft fingertips coaxing her nipples into hard little nubs. Her breath came in soft little gasps as her hand moved down her body, stroking over her stomach before it slipped between her legs. Nimble fingers began stroking over the soft lips of her sex before she spread herself, revealing the delicate pale pink of her inner folds. She slide one finger along her entrance, dipping the tip just inside her before a loud cough from behind caused her to jump and turn around.

“I told you to remove your clothes, not starting masturbating all over my work table,” Cara scolded her with a frown. The apothecary closed and bolted the door again before she came to stand next to Alice, setting down a small work box and a heavy tome on the table.

Alice ducked her head in embarrassment and shifted to sit more demurely, kneeling on her heels with her thighs closed. Cara shot her another glare before she began unpacking her box, setting a few instruments on the table next to the book. A strange looking scribe’s pen and a bottle of bright green, glowing ink were the only things that Alice recognized. She started to reach for them but was rebuffed as the apothecary smacked her hand like a child’s. Finally, she opened the book to a marked page and took the jar, opening it with a grunt. As she did, the ice cracked and broke apart before turning into a mist which floated away.

“Neat trick,” Cara said with a faint smile that made Alice preen a little, “Alright, I need you to lay back while I work. And don’t move! I need to treat this…appendage first.”

Aliciena laid down on her back, her feet near the apothecary and her tools. She tilted her head slightly to watch as Cara reached into the jar, removing the flaccid member. She went to work with a number of her strangest tools, running the disembodied flesh through a number of instruments.

“What are you doing? You’re not going to damage it, are you? That was hard to come by!” Alice said in concern, doing her best to lay still.

“No, I’m not going to damage it. See…because this came from something that was alive, that means it can quickly rot. So, before we can do anything with it, we have to preserve it like we do with the abominations and our other constructs. It will still rot, but at the same pace as the rest of us. You’ll get a good many years of use out of it this way.”

“Oh good. That’s very good,” Alice said with relief, laying back calmly and closing her eyes.

“Mhm. You said it was hard to come by…where exactly did you get this?”

“Well, my Mistress had to kill a man. So we tricked him into fucking me so we could do it in private. And his cock…mm…it was huge. Fantastic,” Alice said with a wistful sigh before smiling shyly, “Well…I just didn’t want to see it go to waste, so…I took it.”

“I…see. You’re a peculiar woman, Alice,” Cara told her, shaking her head, “Strange though…usually its the Mistress who comes to get something like this. To be more dominant, you see. Right, well…now I need you to stay perfectly still so I don’t ruin this.”

Alice simply nodded, keeping her eyes closed. Setting aside the preserved member, Cara opened the bottle of ink and dipped her pen into it. She placed on hand on Alice’s stomach, causing the girl to jump slightly before the soft pressure forced her to stay still. The tip of the pen began to move slowly over Aliciena’s naval, leaving trails of bright green ink that began to burn their way into the flesh. The Forsaken began to whimper beneath the painful touch but stayed impossibly still, not wanting to throw the apothecary off. Cara wrote into her flesh for an excruciatingly long time, burning small neat runes into the pale flesh of the girl. The runes were arranged in three careful rings radiating out from Alice’s naval, the green ink vanishing soon after each was written. Finally, Cara drew back and smiled, brushing a gentle hand over her stomach.

“Very good. You can sit up now. That’s all for you.”

The Forsaken sat up slowly, letting out a shaky breath as she reached down to caress her stomach. There were no marks of any sort but a small amount of pain still lingered just under the skin. Cara had already moved on to the next step of the process. With the same pen and ink, she began to write rings of similar runes near the base of the member in her hands. They circled around the shaft in three small rings.

Alice scooted closer to the apothecary, watching with quiet interest as Cara worked. She was meticulous in her work and paid no attention to the other. When the runes were complete, she set aside the pen and began to work with more instruments that Alice could not recognize. She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, waiting patiently. Just as the Forsaken girl felt as though she’d fall asleep from boredom, the apothecary set aside her tools.

“I’m done,” Cara said almost breathlessly, looking at Alice, “It was a good bit of work…but it should function like you want.”

Breaking into a broad grin, Alice slipped off the table and immediately reached for the coveted object. Cara pulled away with a scowl and shook her head rapidly.

“I have to show you how to use it first,” the apothecary admonished.

Cara guided the other Forsaken with her free hand, turning her so Alice’s small, round butt pressed against the table. The apothecary knelt down in front of her and held up the modified penis for Aliciena to see.

“It has to be perfectly straight…”

She turned the member so that she held it horizontal to the girl’s pelvis, the shaft pointing out straight.

“And you need to activate the runes like this…”

Cara brushed her fingertip three times around the base of the shaft. Each time she did, a ring of runes would appear and glow brightly and the matching pair around Alice’s naval would do the same.

“And finally…attach it…”

The base of the shaft was pressed to the Forsaken’s pubic mound just above her clit, eliciting a loud gasp of surprise from Alice as the flesh began to attach to her own. She squirmed at the strange new feeling, her hands gripping at the table behind her. It took only a few moments before the member hung from Alice as if it had always been there. She continued to fidget uncomfortably until Cara placed her hands near the shaft, drawing new gasps from the girl, the bizarre sensations forgotten.

“Hm…I need to make sure it worked properly,” the apothecary told her as she began to gently poke and prod at the girl.

Alice bit down hard on her lower lip as unexpected waves of pleasure began to rise from her new appendage. Cara’s fingers touched gently near the base of the shaft, checking the smooth perfect connection to the girl. She occasionally wrapped her fingers around it, moving it from side to side and up and down, inspecting every inch. Unable to control herself, Aliciena let out a low moan as her new shaft began to lengthen and stiffen in the apothecary’s grasp. Below that, her sex began to glisten as the attention to and pleasure from her cock aroused the tight folds of her womanhood. Cara seemed to take no notice.

Releasing Alice’s length, Cara stood and nodded in satisfaction. “Everything attached exactly as I wanted. You are now the proud owner of a new…well, slightly used…penis. Go ahead and have a look.”

Moving on slightly wobbly legs, Alice walked around the table and stood in front of the mirror. Her thin fingers touched the rigid length that jutted from her body, lifting it slightly so she could admire it. Turning to the side, she let out a soft giggle as she looked at her reflection. The member was far too big for the small woman, extending to nearly nine inches and almost too thick for her to wrap her fingers around. It was also still a faint pink color that stood out strongly against her own white flesh.

“To remove it, you do the exact same thing. When you do, the runes will vanish and you can just tug. It should come off. If not, you’ll have to come see me.”

“Remove it? If I didn’t worry about what I’d look like in a dress, I’d never remove this gorgeous thing,” Alice said with another laugh, “I can’t wait to try it out.”

“Well, before you run off on a sex crazed spree, there’s the little concern of payment. This doesn’t come cheap, girl.”

“Of course. I’m prepared to pay,” Alice reassured the apothecary. She wandered back around the table, watching her slowly softening cock bob in front of her. She stooped and picked up her robe, untying her coin purse from the belt. “How much do I owe?”

“Hm…let me see,” Cara said softly, pulling a normal pen and ink from her work case along with a piece of parchment.

She leaned forward on the table as she began to do her calculations, unintentionally sticking her round behind in the air as Alice turned back to her. The Forsaken watched as Cara began shifting from foot to foot in thought, causing her ass it bounce slightly. Immediately, Alice’s new cock began to stiffen again as her sex began to moisten. She slowly moved forward to stand with the apothecary, setting her purse on the table. Without warning, she reached out and ran her hands appreciatively over Cara’s soft butt.

“Stop that, girl,” the apothecary muttered distractedly.

Instead of listening, Alice suddenly grabbed Cara’s robes and hiked them far up her body, pooling them around her waist. Much to her surprise, she found that the apothecary was wearing a slinky pair of black panties that barely covered any of her smooth, cool skin. Her soft hands ran over Cara again, giving her ass a brief squeeze.

“What are you doing? I said st–” Cara began before her words trailed off into a surprised gasp and soft moan. Alice had slipped her hand between the apothecary’s thighs, fingers rubbing against her barely clothed pussy. “No, don’t do that…stop it before I…”

“Before you what? Look at this, you’re wet already and I’ve barely done anything,” Alice said with a laugh. She withdrew her fingers and held them out for Cara to see. They were coated in a shining layer of sticky juices.

“That’s because I…oh…don’t do things like this! No one touches me.”

“How boring. It is a wonder you haven’t gone crazy. I can’t imagine life without constant sex. Here…I’ll even pay you extra…”

“Pay me? I’m not a whore!” Cara said in shock, pulling away from Alice. She pulled her robe back down and turned to face the other Forsaken.

“No, no…you misunderstand. I just want to make sure it works! Think of it like another test,” Alice explained. Her demeanor began to change, the child like silliness dropping away as she spoke in her most soothing tones.

She stepped forward until she pressed flush against the apothecary, her hard cock rubbing against the woman’s stomach. Plucking her robe back up, she slipped her hand back between Cara’s thighs, rubbing teasingly at her sex through her panties. The woman let out a soft moan despite herself, eyes partly closing.

“A…a test. Yes…alright, that makes sense,” Cara murmured breathlessly.

Alice smiled gently as she drew away, just enough so she could quickly pull the apothecary robe from the nervous but eager woman. The robe was quickly followed by her panties, leaving Cara exposed. Her body had clearly been modified many times, from the general thickness of her entire body to the heavy breasts that Alice began to caress and squeeze. She had made her body exactly as she desired it and Alice was eager to explore it.

“How beautiful you are. A shame you hide away under all those robes and shun every one’s touches,” Alice murmured softly, leaning in to kiss and nip at Cara’s neck, “Get up on the table and we’ll start testing.”

Wordlessly, the apothecary hoisted herself up and stretched out on her back, legs spread wide and inviting. Alice followed quickly, positioning herself over Cara. The tip of her new cock pressed to the woman’s wet entrance for a brief moment before she quickly plunged in. Both women let out simultaneous moans of pure pleasure as Alice’s thick shaft filled and stretched Cara’s long unused sex. Alice felt her juices begin to run from her cunt, trickling down her thighs and onto the skin of her partner. The flesh of her shaft was far more sensitive than she had expected and the clinging folds of Cara’s sex sent a nearly continuous wave of pleasure through her body.

Unsteadily, Alice began to thrust her long cock in and out of Cara, slowly gaining speed and confidence in her motions as the awkwardness left the new motions. Before long, her hips began to smack against the other’s as her member plunged into the depths of Cara’s quivering cunt, filling the sex starved apothecary with hard flesh. After only a few moments, Alice could feel her own sex begin to clench at nothing, the delicate folds spasming. She let out a moan that was nearly a scream as she orgasmed, sticky juices gushing from her sex and soaking both women’s thighs and the table beneath them.

Alice’s tiny frame shook at the unexpected power of the orgasm. She gasped and panted above Cara, who reached up and began to stroke Alice’s cheeks affectionately. The new feelings and new pleasures were almost too much for her to take but she was unwilling to stop. She continued to pound hard into the woman beneath her, the thick shaft pushing deeply into Cara with lewd wet sounds. Only a few moments after Alice, the apothecary let out an echoing moan as she reached her own orgasm, tight walls gripping hungrily at the thick shaft buried within.

As soon as Cara relaxed enough for her to continue, Alice quickly began thrusting even more roughly than before. The apothecary wrapped her arms and legs desperately around her partner, entangling herself with Alice as she began letting out a series of loud, panting moans. Her back arched upwards, pressing her firm, round breasts against Alice’s tiny ones. Their hard nipples caressed and teased, eliciting even more pleasure from both women. Beneath them, the table began to rock slightly, scraping over the stone floor in time with each of Alice’s hard, deep thrusts into the apothecary. After only a few more moments, both women succumbed to the new pleasures, both orgasming almost together.

“That…that was…a good test,” Cara panted softly, looking up at Alice with glassy eyes, “I guess…I guess it works.”

“Oh…my dear…we still have more tests to run,” Alice said with a gentle smile. Slowly, she drew away from the apothecary, her cock slipping from Cara’s soaking cunt.

“M…more? I don’t think I can take any more.”

“Alright. Just one more tonight. I’ll come back another day for the rest.”

Cara nodded weakly as Alice moved slowly up her body until she straddled the woman’s chest. Taking the apothecary’s breasts in her hands, she pressed them to either side of her shaft and began rocking slowly, sliding her nectar slick cock against the supple flesh.

“Open your mouth, my dear,” Alice cooed, her fingers pinching lightly at Cara’s nipples, “I’ve always been curious why men always want their dicks sucked.”

The apothecary groaned at Alice’s teasing attentions but opened her mouth obediently. Alice pressed forward until the head of her cock slipped between Cara’s lips, moaning as the woman began to immediately suckle at the sensitive flesh. Her tongue began to stroke and swirl over the tip as she closed her eyes. Alice released her grip on the woman’s breasts and leaned forward, slowly sliding more of her shaft into her mouth. Cara’s tongue worked furiously to caress as much of her new lover’s cock as possible, the thick length quickly filling her mouth the limit. Giving up, she simply began to rub her tongue against the underside of Alice’s member while sucking hungrily on the flesh.

Moaning loudly, Alice began to slowly thrust her hips, sliding her shaft in and out of Cara’s eager mouth. Below her member, her cunt continued to drip sticky nectar. Her thighs were glistening with the liquid and, as she knelt over Cara, she began to coat the apothecary’s ample chest. Cara began to moan at the feel of Alice’s obvious arousal, sending vibrations through the cock in her mouth. This added sensation was just enough to send the woman over the edge again. Arching her back, Alice thrust her cock deep into Cara’s mouth as she orgasmed. Her cunt released another wave of her juices, covering the apothecary’s breasts with the sticky release.

Her entire body twitching, Alice slowly drew back, her member leaving Cara’s mouth with a soft pop. The apothecary closed her eyes, a satisfied smile on her lips as she almost immediately fell asleep on the table, her body covered with the sticky release of both women. Alice shifted and lay down next to the other woman, cuddling close with a soft sigh. Absently, she reached down and begin to lightly touch and stroke her new appendage, the flesh already begin to soften with so much energy having been expended by the girl. She cooed softly to herself, admiring the massive length of flesh as her delicate fingers wrapped around it, stroking it affectionately. She simply couldn’t wait to show her mistress.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Do Bad Guys Always Get the Girl?

When Mr. Nice loses out to Mr. Naughty in the dating game

If we are to believe the movies, the ruthless tough guy always gets the girl. And didn’t it seem that the bad boys at school always had the hottest babes? The best looking girls always seem to love the bad guys. Maybe because the best looking guys always became the bad guys? Everywhere we tend to see bad guys and nice girls. We see fools and meatheads with the girls of our fantasies. In the mall we see our flaxen haired goddesses with America’s Most Wanted. Is it nature at work, is it us, what has gone awry?

Men are confused. We like to refer to stereotypes and work from them. Men are told that we need to be a hero and a tough guy. But then we are told we need to be in touch with our sensitive sides. Meanwhile the man down the street who treats his girlfriends like crap, never calls, is rude and disrespect appears to have a fan club developing. Life, my friends, can seem unfair. But let’s look at what is going on with this scenario.

Interest. Bad guys are interesting, they do interesting things. They have strayed from the straight-and-narrow and have developed their own code of conduct. They do what they want. They go where they want. They answer to no one. They are, in other words, fascinating. Tow the line, do as you are told and inevitably you will be become dull. Mavericks are interesting, straight guys are not.

Bad guys are confident and self assured. They know what they’re about and don’t really care what others think. They are their own men and don’t need others to prop them up. Bad guys don’t have to be in shape, just look at James Galdofini from The Sopranos, who is immensely attractive despite his rotund appearance. Some can become almost caricaturesof themselves, but that doesn’t make them any less attractive.

Plus bad guys are a challenge. We all love a challenge, and women may love a challenge even more than the boys. If something is a challenge, the end results must surely be worthwhile, right? The girls who go after bad guys want to find the pot of gold at the end of crazy rainbow. They will go to great lengths to solve their mysteries. And once they have them, once they’ve conquered the challenge, they don’t want to let go. Plus it makes for an exciting rollercoaster ride because the bad guy could walk away at any moment. The greater the danger of loosing a bad guy, the greater the effort they’ll put forth to keep them. And there may be a lesson there.

What do we have if we combine these facets? Power, strength of character, confidence, a maverick nature and an immensely interesting personality equals sexiness. That is exactly what the bad boy is, so it’s no surprise that this type of guy often get the gal. It doesn’t mean to say that we like them, and it doesn’t mean it is fair or even a good thing, but raw attraction can be nature’s way.

I am not in any way suggesting that we should all be Mr. Bad Guy. Not at all. What I am saying is that there are lessons to be learned here. What is attractive can be modified and added to our arsenal of dating weaponry. How you perceive yourself that matters the most. If you can increase your confidence levels, get your career on the right tracks, excel in what you do and be your own man within the confines of your working life, then you’ll get that bad boy confidence. And that attitude will boost your attractiveness. You don’t need to go around being bad, but you can be a bit more deliberate in your actions, a little less available and a little more enigmatic. This will boost your interest factor and again help in your attractiveness.

The modern dating game is highly complex and courting rituals can be a minefield. Go back to basics, analyze what is it that you think potential partners would like and think about how can you match of yourself to those qualities. Changing just a few small things could make the world of difference.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Clear skies and dark eyes

My mind won’t settle. I can’t think of one topic long enough to focus or to write about it.  My mind is being a toddler–carelessly wandering to the very topics I try avoiding.

I thought of Cassidy last night. Almost immediately I had to think of something different. That memory is still healing. I know what I’ve done is right. I know she will be happy. I know all of this. But I’m tired.

And I can’t figure out how to word anything else without sounding like a big, emotional, baby.

So I’ll leave you with this…

Oh, why must I work so hard,
Just so I can feel like the nobles ones?
Obligations to my heart are gone,
Superficial lines explain it all.

Sometimes I get tired of pins and needles,
Facades are a fire on the skin.
Oh, I’m growing fond of broken people,
As I see that I am one of them.

- Mutemath Pins and Needles

I can’t be the only one that feels the same. But perhaps I’m the only one that is as vocal about it. Why do the good guys finish last? What makes an asshole so appealing? What makes us chase the unattainable? Is it the challenge? Is it the thrill?

In my talk with Cait, she point blank asked (or maybe she just said it, I dunno), “You like the chase.” Well, of course I like the chase. It’s the calm before the storm. In the relationship world, it’s the innocent grace period where anything and everything goes. There are no strings attached. It’s merely the enjoyment of another’s company. The turning point comes when one of the two parties feels comfortable enough to dive head first into the lake of sorrow (wow, depressing Katie).

Hold on, let me explain.

Everyone has that lake–that lake no one wants venture forth. It a lake as still as the trees. The water is as murky as our heart–its never too clear. On the surface it’s warm and refreshing, as is the embankment of a new relationship. But when we dive deeper with one another we find what makes us so cold. The deeper we dive–no matter how fast–the more serious it becomes. If we stay near the surface, we’re safe. It’s not such a challenge to go back up and breathe for air. We can get out the water in a simple fluid motion. However with each  submersion, we combat weaving the intricate emotional web around each other. It’s almost inevitable, but it’s almost always breakable.

Stars and Walls

I want to be back in that room…

Back between those sand-colored walls that saw you and absorbed you…

I want to lay in that white bed.. And look at the ceiling. Count the mismatched spotlights. Stare at the orangish cupboards I always hated, and you always praised.

That room.. That prison.. That safe haven that kept us locked in, and kept our secrets secret. The walls that listened to your moans and smelled your sweat. Those walls.. I want to touch those walls… How many memories.. How many symbols.. And how much longing can all be in one room?

That theatre.. Where we performed.. And made wishes.. Made crimes.. Materialized our sins. Over and over again.

Maybe because it’s small.. Intense.. condensed.
Maybe that is why I see you in it so vividly.. Your naked back.. Your hair.. Black as coal against your white skin.. Long.. Then shorter.. Then shorter.. Why did you cut your hair?

I want to be in that corner where you cried.. Apologize for you again and again for being in love, and being so harsh at it. If I could just keep you in there with me all day and stare in your eyes and forget all about the “others”… The momentaries.. The newcomers.. And those who stay.

If I could have them all lined up on that wall and cross them out with a piece of chalk. Erase them and erase with them all the mistakes that made these walls weaker.. My walls weaker.. My hugs less nourishing.. My kisses less desirable.

Oh what that piece of chalk could do.. And how it could put back everything in its rightful place. And I would then have no dreams of her. And no space for her invasion..

I would not let her infiltrate me like she does.. Tries..

Who does she think she is? Scraping away all that is old.. All that is precious to me.

How can she believe she is a new soft breeze when she is in fact my darkest nightmare, trying and trying to fill my life with her scent when I only want yours?

My walls… Will they ever see her?
I wish never to let her in my sacred chamber, even if it were a catacomb. That room belongs to you. Your body. Your desires. That bed is yours. That window. That lamp. And all the mismatched spotlights.

“wouldn’t it be wonderful, if there was an opening in my ceiling, and we could see the stars?”

You laughed at my foolishness that day.. In the dark..

“If there was an opening, we’d be looking up your brother’s room!”

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Let´s talk about books... good lesbian books

I´m raving mad today.  I have had such a busy day!  But the lovely thing is that even when all about me is mad, bad or just plain bonkers… I can come home, eat my tea, cuddle my girlfriend, catch up with the email, visit the old facebook, and then… retire to my bedroom with a book.  Ah, bliss, there is nothing so lovely as retiring to bed, or a comfy sofa or chair, with a good lesbian book.

Now you may ask, what makes a good lesbian book?  For me, it has to have a interesting story, a bit of romance, some sex but not on every page… and a happy ending.  Actually, I have just described probably 85% of all the lesbian genré books ever written!  Bella Books and Spinster Ink are two great lesbian book publishers and there is also the Radclyffe productions, Bold Strokes Books.  Also, Yellow Rose and New Victoria and a raft of others.  There is a huge supply of books and now it is so easy to find them with Amazon stocking most titles now.  Also, the easy availability of second hand books has made it easier to get hold of even the old Naiad prints, though most of these have been or are being re-issued by Bella as they bought the old Naiad catalogue.

I am going to spend a couple of days on here reviewing some of the 100s of books I have read over the past ten years and then perhaps we could have a vote.  I´ll start tomorrow with Solitaire and Brahms by Sarah Dreher.  This is one of my all time favourites and the mad thing is that I can´t quite expalin why, except to say I have read and re-read this book so many times and like watching a favourite movie, it just always leaves me with a nice fuzzy feeling.  I think it´s maybe that I just like the two main characters so much…I dunno… anyway, tomorrow I will write a proper review.  Bet you can´wait eh?