Senseless Scribbling of an Idiot #25: Gay by God

So, the other day a friend of mine posted a question on her Facebook.  She wanted to know if people thought gays were born that way or somehow became gay in life.  Basically, it’s the old nurture versus nature question.  She said the breakroom became quite intense when she posed the question.  Some people feel like they were born that way; some people believe gays are born gay.  Others believe that they’re nurtured to be gay.  Who even knows?  Only science can tell.  Or maybe God.

What do I think?  I think gay people are born gay.  I believe it is a natural occurence.  People shit themselves when it comes to the subject of homosexuality.  Normally, I don’t even like to get into these types of discussions because people get so riled up that the whole thing will just come to blows.  I’ll have to shank somebody just to get them to listen to my point of view.  But since this is my blog and I can damn well write what I want, I’m going to go for it.

If you hate it, then click away and get lost.

Someone once said to me that he noticed that suddenly there were a lot of gays.  He said it must be “something in the water,” meaning the way parents were raising their children and the oversexualisation that we see in the media.  He said it seemed like being gay was the cool thing to do.  I told him that there appears to be an abundance of gays because people are now more comfortable with themselves and they don’t feel like they need to hide who they really are.  Since this is the new millennium and everything, some people just feel like enough is enough.  Let’s let it all hang out.

In my opinion, I do not believe there are more gays now than there were, let’s say, 100 years ago.  There were simply more people hiding the truth from themselves and others.  If you really look back in history, there’s plenty mention of gay people.  Even the Bible has tales of homosexuality.  I’m not talking about the supposed commandments against homosexuality, I’m only talking about the mere mention of gayness.

There are many people that believe that homosexuality is against God’s wishes.  Well, since these people believe that God created everything, then why did He create gay people?  Oh, that was the work of the devil?  Well, then explain to me why God would simply not just strike down all these abominations?  Why let them roam the earth freely contaminating the rest of us?  He let six million of the chosen people go to the exterminator, but gays are free to fornicate at will.  This makes no sense to me.

Look, I am a FIRM believer in God.  I believe He is the Truth, the Light and the Way to whatever eternal glories are waiting for me in the afterlife.  Except for about 15 minutes when I was 17, I have always believed this, and I will never not believe this.

I now have a confession to make:  I used to have a huge problem with gay people.  I used to think that it was the worst thing ever.  I used to believe that it was against God’s commandments.  I used to believe that it was an abomination.

I know that I have a lot of gay friends, and I was comfortable being friends with them because I always knew that our eternal salvation, or damnation, is personal.  When we die, we die alone.  We stand before our Maker alone.  All my sins, even the ones I committed with my best friend, are aired out for me and me alone to make atonement.  So I would think, he’s gay, he’s going to hell, but he’s still cool though.  My soul was safe because their gayness doesn’t contaminate me.  I really believed that.  I never told my gay friends how I felt because I always felt like they didn’t need to hear one more person telling them they were going to hell.  I’m sure they would find out when they got there.

But after Shannon posed her question and I was reading some of the responses, I had this epiphany.  Seriously, a light went off in my head and it was the strangest thing that I just did this huge 180.  First of all, how can I assume that I know what God really wants?  No, really.  Who am I to say, “God doesn’t like that!”  I’m not sure why ever went off on the this is not what God wants routine.  A lot of people do that, assuming they know what the truth is.  We’re all just floundering in this flotsam, trying to get by in life.  We’ve subscribed to whatever religion, whatever thought process and we’re just hoping against hope that we even picked the right one–provided that anything is even waiting for us when we get there.  And you know, that’s a story for another day.

Secondly, who would really choose to be gay?  I know this does not apply to every gay man or lesbian everywhere, but we’ll take some American examples.  In most states gays cannot marry whom they love.  Imagine spending all of your life with the man or woman you loved and when they died, they could leave you nothing because of you happened to be the same gender as your one true love?  Even in the states they are permitted to marry, they still have to battle their unsupportive friends and family.  They get to listen to horrid gay jokes.  Some of them have been abused, maimed, even killed because they are gay.  They suffer isolation and humiliation.  Fathers have turned against sons.  Mothers have shunned daughters.  Siblings alienate siblings.  Families have been torn apart.

The cruellest punishment is rejection, and it hurts like a thousand needles in the eye when it comes from your own family.  Why would someone choose this life?

And then we come to gays who cannot stomach the consequences and they take themselves to crazy heights trying to pretend they aren’t.  I’ve heard of camps where they go to get the gay beat out of them.  Supposedly the power of the Lord will preach the gay out, like exorcising some demon.  I know a man who forced himself into marriage with a woman.  He had hoped to have a child and somehow that would make him not gay.  Instead, the wife found out about his natural tendencies.  She divorced him and took him for every penny he had.  Now he’s miserable.

Who would choose this?

I know there are some gays that do not have it this hard.  They are comfortable who they are.  They have supportive families.  They live in pro-gay marriage states.  This is not a blanket statement for everybody, but merely an outline of what some people are up against.  I know a lot of young gay men who are only half-way out.  They jeopardise relationships and their personal happiness because they can’t share their joy with everybody they know.  One partner feels ashamed and the other just wants to be normal.  With all the “regular” problems in relationships, why would you purposely add that on?

My sister said there was some priest on Oprah who said that being gay was a gift from God to show people lessons in hatred.  I think that sounds pretty horrible, but I am now convinced more than ever that we are either born gay or straight.  There’s nothing that the parents did to make their child gay.  He or she is simply the way he or she is.  Maybe you don’t realise it till you hit puberty and you start contemplating all those raging hormones, but I’ve know a few gay men who said they were quite sure they knew they were gay from a very young age.

And for all of us who are straight, did you wake up one day and decide that you wanted to be straight?  I didn’t.  I know that I did not make conscious decision that I would be straight.  One day I was like, “Oh, that boy is cute.”  I didn’t say, “I should like boys over girl,” or “Liking girls is wrong, so I’m going to like boys.”  None of us made any decision that day we woke up and started noticing sex.

I’m not a scientist or a doctor.  I’m not a priest or any other religious figure.  I’m just some random person with an opinion, like any other random person.

I know there are passages in the Bible that speak against homosexuality, and I’m really trying hard not to take this blog down that route.  It’s such a can of worms, but we have to remember that for awhile it wasn’t so hot to be black, or Jewish, or whatever.  Marrying outside of one’s religion was an atrocity.  Marrying outside of one’s race was a crime against nature.  Marrying the same gender is the new abomination.  I believe it is the last hurdle–at least until we can come up with something else to hate.

Don't Ask, Don't Give: the gAyTM is officially shut down

Reposted with Pam’s permission

ORIGINAL AT:  http://www.pamshouseblend.com/diary/14025/dont-ask-dont-give-the-gaytm-is-officially-shut-down

by: Pam Spaulding Mon Nov 09, 2009 at 16:44:14 PM EST We’ve talked about the fatigue of being jerked around as a constituency, now several of my fellow bloggers have had enough and I’ve signed on to the effort launched by Joe Sudbay and John Aravosis of Americablog. (FYI (Tues., 3:58 ET: Joe caught me on my cell Monday as I was leaving the cell-free zone in hospital in Brooklyn, so that’s why I didn’t get on the endorsement list until later in the day).

The boycott is cosponsored by Daily Kos, Jane Hamsher of FireDogLake, Dan Savage, Michelangelo Signorile, David Mixner, Andy Towle and Michael Goff of Towle Road, Paul Sousa (Founder of Equal Rep in Boston), Pam Spaulding, Robin Tyler (ED of the Equality Campaign, Inc.), Bil Browning for the Bilerico Project, and soon others.

It’s really more of a “pause,” than a boycott. Boycotts sounds so final, and angry. Whereas this campaign is temporary, and is only meant to help some friends – President Obama and the Democratic party – who have lost their way. We are hopeful that via this campaign, our friends will keep their promises.

So please sign the Petition and take a Pledge to no longer donate to the DNC, Organizing for America, or the Obama campaign until the President and the Democratic party keep their promises to the gay community, our families, and our friends.

Why should hard-earned LGBT dollars go to a party fast to line up with its palms outstretched to whisper sweet nothings in our collective ears, then turn away and tell us equality will have to wait until “X” occurs first. We’re not stupid. We just want our funds to go to the people in office or running for office who will focus on passing legislation that the “fierce advocate” can sign, since he’s stated numerous times he’ll sign it if it makes it to his desk. Well, put up or shut up.

Interestingly, one would expect a response to this effort by the HRC to be negative. To the contrary, it looks like a tacit endorsement (FDL):

“Individual donors should always make their own careful assessments of how to spend limited political contributions. We all need to focus on the legislative priorities identified by AmericaBlog and with whatever tactic individuals decide to employ, the ultimate objective needs to be securing the votes we need to move our legislative agenda forward.”

David Dayen notes that “HRC hasn’t given to the DNC this year, as per the policy put in by Obama after his election that the Party cannot accept contributions from organizations structured as a C(4).” And if you read the whole post, other progressive blogs, equally dissatisfied with the powers that be straying from progressive causes, are about ready to call a boycott of donations to the DCCC and the DSCC.FAQs are below the fold.

Pam Spaulding :: Don’t Ask, Don’t Give: the gAyTM is officially shut down

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is this?
We are asking voters to pledge to withhold contributions to the Democratic National Committee, Organizing for America, and the Obama campaign until the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) is passed, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) is repealed, and the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is repealed -– all of which President Obama repeatedly promised to do if elected.

Why are you asking people to take this pledge?
Candidate Obama promised during the campaign to be the gay community’s “fierce advocate.” He and the Democratic party have not kept their promise.
Can you give examples of how the President and Democrats have not been fierce advocates for the civil rights of gay and lesbian Americans?

• • Asking a religious right activist who claims to have been “cured” of his homosexuality to headline campaign events in South Carolina. Then letting the anti-gay bigot spend half an hour, on stage, haranguing gays at the Obama event.
  • Refusing for months to interview with LGBT newspapers during the campaign, while his opponent did repeatedly.
  • Flubbing question on whether gays are immoral.
  • Inviting anti-gay activist Rick Warren, who helped pass Prop 8 in California, to give the invocation at the inaugural.
  • Inviting a gay bishop to the inaugural festivities, then not beginning the TV broadcast until the gay bishop has finished and left.
  • Refusing to appoint an openly gay Cabinet member.
  • Abolishing the LGBT outreach position at the DNC and never reinstating it.
  • Refusing to re-establish the White House Office of LGBT Outreach and the White House LGBT Liaison (which was a Special Assistant to the President at one point).
  • Continuing to discharge two gay servicemembers a day, even though he could stop it immediately by issuing a stop-loss order immediately.
  • Asking for a study on “whether” repealing DADT would hurt national security, rather than a study on how to repeal it, as promised.
  • Deleting his gay civil rights promise from the White House Web site.
  • Changing his commitment to “repeal” Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, to “changing DADT it in a sensible manner.”
  • Repeatedly defending DOMA in court, including just a few weeks ago, even though he didn’t have to.
  • Making jokes about marriage equality, which President Obama claims he doesn’t support, even though he once did.
  • Comparing gay relationships to incest and pedophilia in a Justice Department brief.
  • Joking about gay protesters upset about the DOMA brief.
  • Refusing to provide health care benefits to the partners of gay employees, and then claiming that DOMA precludes it, when it does not.
  • Refusing to meet with gay legal groups to discuss how toprovide such health benefits within the confines of DOMA.
  • Claiming that health benefits for partners of federal employees were new, then being caught in a lie.
  • Showing visible discomfort when asked about gay civil rights.
  • Suggesting he won’t get to DADT, DOMA or ENDA until his second term, if ever.
  • Refusing to suspend implementation of anti-gay laws, like DADT and DOMA, while suspending laws that hurt others.
  • White House staffers worked against amendment proposed by Rep. Alcee Hasting (D-FL) to defund Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell investigations
  • Saying won’t repeal DADT until wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have finished.
  • Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid had to beg President Obama to help on DADT repeal.
  • A White House official referring to gay civil rights advocates, marching on Washington, as part of “the Internet left fringe” whose opinions don’t matter.
  • Saying he won’t touch DOMA in his first term.
  • Refusing to release list of gay attendees at hate crimes reception.
  • Refusing to mention Maine or Washington state, or anything of substance, in his speech to the Human Rights Campaign dinner.
  • Saying gays are “naïve” for wanting the president to keep his promise.
  • Refusing to issue a statement specifically opposing anti-gay ballot measures in Maine and Washington state.
  • Attorney General Eric Holders flubs question on Maine, twice — once while in Maine.
  • DNC/OFA emailed supporters in Maine and Washington state, but didn’t ask them to vote against anti-gay ballot measures, then lied about it.
  • Senator Durbin (D-IL), a very close ally of Obama, says Senate probably won’t repeal DADT in 2010, as promised.
  • Senior DNC official accuses gays and lesbians of “helping Republicans” by simply asking Democrats to keep their gay civil rights promise.
  • Refusing to publicly endorse marriage equality for gays.
  • Continuing to dawdle over DADT.
  • Refusing to this day to interview with the gay press.
  • Refusing to apologize for any of these slights.

But won’t your pledge hurt Democrats?
It never hurts Democrats to keep their promises to the voters. The American people respect strong leaders who have the courage to stick to their beliefs. And it will only help Democrats in the next election to stand by their commitments to a core constituency. If Democratic voters aren’t motivated, they won’t vote. We are concerned that the President’s failure to fulfill his promises may suppress voter participation not only from gay Democrats, but from our families, friends and allies. In a very real way, this is an effort to ensure that we get-out-the-vote in 2010, 2012 and beyond.

But if you don’t give money to the DNC, won’t that help elect Republicans who are even worse on gay issues, and other issues Democrats care about?
We are not calling for a boycott of donations to the DNC. We are simply calling for a pause until the party follows through on its campaign promise to repeal DADT and DOMA, and pass ENDA. The party will get the same donations it would have gotten, when the promises are kept. The Democrats could choose to make good on their promise today. And by doing so, they will only further motivate the Democratic base to again turn out for the next election, a decidedly good thing.

You have to admit, gay rights is controversial – wouldn’t it be political suicide for Democrats to push gay rights?
Democrats should not have promised to support gay civil rights rights in exchange for our votes if they never intended to keep the promise. If we’re not controversial during the campaign, when politicians are happy to accept our votes and our money, we cannot accept being labeled controversial after our candidates win. We kept our part of the bargain, we voted for Barack Obama and a Democratic Congress. It’s entirely reasonable for us to ask our elected officials to keep their part of the bargain too.

What’s more, gay rights are not controversial. Americans favor allowing openly gay men and lesbian women to serve in the military by a margin of 69% – 26%.  By a margin of 57% – 37%, “A clear majority of Americans (57%) favors allowing gay and lesbian couples to enter into legal agreements with each other that would give them many of the same rights as married couples.” That can’t happen if DOMA is the law.  And in fact, if these civil rights promises were controversial, they would have hurt candidate Obama at the polls. But, he proudly and loudly proclaimed his support for LGBT equality, and he won.

No matter how disappointed you are, aren’t Democrats still better than Republicans?
The Republican party is terrible on gay issues. That doesn’t excuse the Democratic party breaking specific promises to the gay community made in exchange for our votes. We didn’t break our promise at the ballot box, the Democrats shouldn’t break theirs after we helped put them into office.

President Obama has only been in office less than a year, why the rush?
In less than a year, serious damage has already been done to the President’s commitments to the gay community. The problem isn’t only that he hasn’t been quick enough to fulfill his promises, it’s that he has actually backtracked on his promises and hurt the cause of civil rights and our community, as detailed above.

But aren’t there bigger priorities than gay rights for the Democrats to deal with, like health care and the economy?
Would President Obama, the DNC and the Congress tell other minorities that their civil rights aren’t important? The suggestion is that Democrats have more important things on the table. When won’t Democrats have more important priorities than the civil rights of gays and lesbians? Will there ever be a day, a year, an administration, when the President and the Congress won’t have serious crises to deal with? Suggesting that gay Americans and their friends and families wait until the President and Congress have nothing else to do is not only insulting, it’s a recipe for never. And regardless, we trust that this President, unlike the previous, can walk and chew gum at the same time.

Who is behind this effort?
John Aravosis and Joe Sudbay, two longtime political operatives in Washington, DC, and the editors of AMERICAblog.com. AMERICAblog has raised over $300,000 for Democratic candidates and progressive causes, including nearly $50,000 for then-candidate Barack Obama, supported by AMERICAblog early in the primaries.

The boycott is cosponsored by Daily Kos, Jane Hamsher of FireDogLake, Dan Savage, Michelangelo Signorile, David Mixner, Andy Towle and Michael Goff of Towle Road, Paul Sousa (Founder of Equal Rep in Boston), Pam Spaulding, Robin Tyler (ED of the Equality Campaign, Inc.), Bil Browning for the Bilerico Project, and soon others.

You can contact us at: dncboycott@gmail.com

How can I help?
Sign the pledge, tell your friends about this campaign, read the blog, and stay tuned for updates and action alerts on how you help make sure that the President, the Congress and the Democratic party keep their promises to the LGBT community, our families, our friends and our allies.

This is an excellent sweep of top progressive and LGBT bloggers and activists who have signed on right at the outset and many readers are backing this – are you ready to send the party hacks and WH foot-draggers a me$$age?

Keeping you in the Know: MyFOXMaine.com | Gay Marriage Supporters Protest Church

Good for them!  Protest, protest, protest!  Religion has ABSOLUTELY no Right to be involved in the general public’s life!  Especially when, many are not of the religion which is being pushed out into the civil world.

The more one particular religion pursues discrimination and in its actions pursues the abuse of many American citizens, the less I feel sorry for them when people turn and leave thier flock or stand in protest outside their doors.

MyFOXMaine.com | Gay Marriage Supporters Protest Church

Blogged with the Flock Browser

All Work & No Play Make Stiletto...

….weirdly motivated and ambitious but stuck prioritizing.

I have been going through some pretty big changes at school and at the office over the last month or so that has been a big factor in my lack of posting but before I get into that I think a little background is probably in order.

I never had a job until I graduated from High School aside from a little bit of babysitting and working for about 5 hours every two weeks at a massage parlor that was out of an old hippys home (she did make delicious and theraputic brownies though!) I always had good grades and was involved in a million after school activities (show choir, theatre, youth action council, poetry slams, etc.) and my parents gave me money so I wouldn’t have to add working onto my already overly full plate. So when I graduated I had to go out in the real world and find a job and my options were pretty limited with no experience. This first job I  actually got called to interview was at a day care and I was hired on the spot. I worked there for about 3 months, loved the kids and was awesome at my job but couldn’t stand the bitches and trashy women I worked with. The day I gave my notice I got a call from an entertainment retailer asking me to come in and interview for their guest services position. I reieved that job on the spot as well, was quickly promoted to the books department and worked there for a year. It was a great college job with all people around my age and it wasnt a big deal when I opened hungover or called in sick. I was attending college while I worked there but was really uninterested and after I dropped out of school I realized I couldn’t stay making under $6 an hour for my whole life. I was lucky enough that I had a friend who had a great gig as a receptionist for a real estate company that she had to give up so she could move out of state for college. When she left she got me an interview and the rest was history.

I was hired during my interview and have been at that job for the last 4 years. I have changed positions about 5 times and have always been promoted quickly and about 3 years ago we opened up a second location in a nearby city and I was chosen to along with my position in marketing also be the only staff member out at that office. I bought my home that year and lived about 5 minutes away from our new location and was the go to girl for that office. Since everything was in my control it was all cake and I actually spent alot of time being bored out of my mind. This was when I started blogging, getting involved in networks like TheCurveNetwork and taking on any personal project I could to make my days go by faster. Recently we have decided due to the unpleasant market to close that branch office, to move our main branch into a new larger building and to get back to the basics having all staff and agents under one roof. This has opened up some great opportunities for me including getting back to just doing my position which is now Marketing Coordinator and Agent Services Specialist and is giving me a chance to do what I do best. I am loving being back in the real world and out of what I call “survivor island” and in my brand new pretty big office! It is amazing and I am feeling busy and secure and ambitious (especially now that I have a bonus incentive)!

So this all brings us to now, I am super swamped at work but loving having the days go by so much faster. I am also going to school 3 nights a week and still trying to spend as much time as possible with Nightrider and our kids. I also have gotten involved with a youth community shelter and have been asked to be the lead volunteer on their film and theatre projects. Even though it may seem like I am taking on too much I am getting to do almost everything I desire to do in life and I’m really happy about it. Unforunately the demanding nature of my schedule now has caused me to have to limit some of my other activities. I am no longer blogging as much as I would like and had to resign from webcasting on The Curve Network. While I loved webcasting for CurvyTV it just couldn’t fit into my life and I wish Drew and everyone else at The Curve Network the best of luck! As far as blogging goes I am trying to find a way to get back into it whenever I can. I am hoping to atleast post once a week if not multiple times a week. So hopefully you will keep being patient with me.

 

out online?

As part of my studies I have been introduced to First Monday which is one of the first peer-reviewed open access journals on the internet, about the internet. In an attempt to get to grips with quantitative (measurables) and qualitative (opinioned observation) research methods, our group has been tasked with reading October’s papers and analysing the approaches utilised.

One study presented was Gaydar: Facebook friendships expose sexual orientation (Jernigan and Mistree 2009) especially as I had read coverage of the research and the privacy debates in the mainstream media in recent weeks.

The research utilised the quantitative techniques to profile 4080 Facebook users within the MIT Facebook network. And hypothesis testing was undertaken to establish “a method for accurately predicting the sexual orientation of Facebook users by analysing friendship associations” (Jernigan and Mistree, 2009).

Despite the success of the study (which did accurately predict Facebook user’s sexual orientation based on the information the information collated about their Facebook friends) I think it is interesting to consider some of the “problems” surrounding this methodology (many of which were identified by Jernigan and Mistree).

Equal contact status – This was part of the basis of the study (people having a predisposition to socialise with people “like” them). Although this may predominately be the case it ignores the fact that there are anomalies and not everyone behaves in this way.

Human sexuality - In Facebook users sexuality has to be defined by distinct categories (interested in men, women, both men and women or undefined). In reality sexuality is more complex than this… as the authors describe “the world can not be divided into sheep and goats” (so to speak!) Is it realistic to expect the identity chosen in Facebook to always match the “reality”. Also this means that identities such a transgender remain ignored.

“Friends” – What is a Facebook friend? Many FB users have 100s(+) of so called “friends” within their network. How representative are these connections in comparison to an individuals “sympathy group” which is the average number of people (12) whose death would leave you truly devastated. This piece of research can not get under the skin of this question.

The tools - The recruiting/profiling of each FB account was undertaken by an automated spider (Arachne). Although this helps remove human bias from the  research process it also means the subtleties of human interpretation are missed. For example the study can not account for the differences that arose between lesbian and gay male FB relationships. Also the way in which the spider operated meant that it collated data over 18 days in total rather than taking a ’snapshot’ at one point in time.

Trade offs - The nature of the logistical regression model used means that there is an ongoing balancing act between “specificity , a measure of the model’s susceptibility to false positives, and sensitivity, the probability the model correctly predicts a characteristic” (Signorovitch, 2007 in Jernigan and Mistree, 2009).

Threats to validity – Jernigan and Mistree also identify various threats to the validity of the results of the study, including the selection method (the validation dataset came from profiles known to the authors to be gay males by prior knowledge) and history – National Coming Out Day was held 13 days before the research began.

Ethics – The data for this research was obtained without the knowledge of the FB users, although it was in the public domain and the individuals have been anonimised. This raises many questions regarding privacy and the ethics of collecting information in this way.

In conclusion it can be said that the study can not reveal causation but only correlation. The methodology is useful to obtain an overall picture however human identity and relationships are complex and therefore maybe can not be fully understood utilising these techniques.

Image c/o Kaptain Kobold licensed under Creative Commons.

T.I.T. Podcast Episode 46: Winter in the Tropics

• Welcome to episode 46
• Sorry for so much time between shows
• Holiday season arrives
• A New approach to podcasting for Tom
• Love my gentle reminders…keep em’ coming!
• How did you celebrate Halloween?
• School carnivals and the failed costume
• Nostalgic Halloween movies
• Halloween heralds the holidays
• Brits don’t quite get Halloween
• Tom enjoys lounging at home
• Loy Kratong in Thailand
• First full moon in November
• Flower and banana leaf birthday cakes
• My take on Thai costumes and traditional music
• Winter arrives in Thailand over night
• No gradual seasonal changes in Thailand
• Lots of trips to Bangkok this month
• (sorry for the background noise!!!)
• Dean and the Stickman links on teachers
• My thoughts on the article (can’t find the link L)
• Education in Thailand
• Some aspects of the culture inhibit education
• Saving face and ‘Greng Jai’
• A lovely link from Ken!!
• Tigger’s Halloween cast was fabulous
• What do you think of the new site and flag counter?
• Matthew of SBA is doing a podcast a day this month
• Random hellos and love to my listeners
• Closing remarks and rambling bye!

Email me at tominthai@gmail.com, please go Comment on my page or call my voice line at 1-206-426-2152 and leave me a voice comment for the show!

Download Tom in Thailand: Click Here | The Freak Network | The RainbowPodSquad

Subscribe to Tom in Thailand in Itunes: Click here

why do so many straight women sigh and say they wish they were 'a lesbian' when they're having problems with men b/c 'goshdarnit, it's got to be so much easier'?

tell me. b/c i really want to know. give me one doggone reason you think it’s easier?? b/c you…both have boobs? yeah, not so much!

news flash for ya, ladies. it’s not easier. it could quite possibly be harder. in fact, all the civil rights/legal stuff aside (like how we’re paying $200+/month more than “individual plus [opposite sex] spouse” for my cobra benefits; and, now that i’m laid off i can finally tell all of you that i was being taxed over $350 more each month for holly’s benefits than my heterosexual colleagues, who were not being taxed *at all* on their spouse’s benefits. yup, holly’s benefits were viewed as “taxable income” by the govt. since we’re not “married” under state law. you know, after the $25k wedding w/the rabbi and all. and 150 guests. but i digress)…anyway, as i was saying, all that stuff aside, i will highlight only a couple reasons being with a woman isn’t the fantasy you imagine:

1. pms

oh. you think it’s bad in a household with just *one* of you going thru pms? HA! that’s not bad!!! TRY TWO! TRY TWO WOMEN AT HOME WITH PMS. try that on for size and get back to me when you’ve changed your mind. (hm? what’s that? you already changed it? what, so soon??)

for a long time, holly was like, when it came to “that time of the month,” oh, i’m totally the “alpha female.”

what’s the alpha female, you ask? i’ll explain:

whether us ladies are aware of it or not, there’s always that girl in a group house, family, etc. whose doggone pheromones or whatever they are screw up everyone else’s cycle. that’s what holly and i call the alpha female. usually what happens is that the women, whether’s there’s two or 20, sort of…fall in line. oh but not in our household. nooo,  that would be far too easy.

so holly’s been thinking she’s the alpha female. and i’m like, whatever, babe, kind of secretly believing she is simply b/c she’s stronger than me on some levels (ok many levels), as in: she can lift heavier things than i can and is a better driver and whatnot [no she’s not “butch” but those of you that know the two of us know exactly what i mean. i should mention that a certain relative of holly’s that shall remain nameless (coughcoughsharon–hm? what?) recently called me “a skirty girly girl”  and even tho i kind of am i’m not that bad). but then it seemed like i was dragging her ass into my cycle. and then sometimes it seemed like i was being dragged into hers. so we basically have this constant hormonal tug’o'war going on where we’re essentially at each others’ throats two weeks each month. we sometimes get this weird phantom pms from each other, too. so basically that’s pms four times a month.

nice, right?

also (#2) we have so many shoes in our house. omG the shoes!!!! you would simply not believe all the doggone shoes. or the clothes in general (#3). or the sheer girth of bras we have accumulated thru our 8+ yrs together (#4). also jeans (#5). also everything (#6).

oh and i just thought of another! IT TAKES FOREVER TO CHOOSE A BEDSPREAD (#7). or towels (#8)! or furniture (#9)! most men don’t care about that stuff. if they do, they’re lying just to make you shuddup.

so basically, if you’re thinking of “switching teams,” how about you picture pms times two (four, even) and no closet space. and you don’t really want to come out to your parents, do you (#10)? i mean, talk about awkward! exactly.

if you’ve read this carefully and you’re still thinking about gettin jiggy w/the womenfolk, you’re probably kind of gay already in which case you have larger issues and if you want to talk i’m totally here for you.