All I Really Want for Christmas

     For Christmas this year, all I really want is some perfect moments. You know what I’m talking about. I want those pockets of time when, for an hour or a few minutes, nothing is worrying me and I am embraced by a feeling of peace. As corny as it sounds, sitting in front of a fire with my girlfriend next to me and our dogs scattered about the room does it for me. No, I’m not a ninety-year old lesbian who has lost my zest for life. But I’ve learned that there is something to be appreciated about being still and drinking in certain feelings, savoring the perfection of  simple pleasures that so often elude us when we are always in a hurry.

     I’ve spent most of  life chasing things that I thought would make me happy. For a large portion of my life, I bought into the mania of conspicuous consumption that we’ve all been tempted by, falsely believing that if I lived in the right house, drove the right car and surrounded myself with plenty of toys, then I’d be happy. It’s funny how busy you can keep yourself striving for this hollow excuse for a life. Personally, I can barely keep up with the technology. It drives me crazy trying to figure it all out. I still don’t have an iPod. I know what you’re thinking and you’re right. I am truly living in the past with my CDs. But I’ve stopped apologizing for it at least. Judge  me as you will.

     When it’s all said and done and the holidays are over for another year, I want to move into the new year remembering the satisfaction and love I felt sitting by the fire in the arms of a soft woman. The crowded malls and 40lb. newspapers dripping with advertisements do not impress me, and instead leave me agitated and as far from jolly as a person can be. Wouldn’t it be grand if we could all go back to the days when you actually made a gift for the people you love with your own two hands. Stop snickering. Some people still do that. And yes, I would rather get a tin of homemade cookies than a new IPhone or iPod or whatever else is the latest gadget de jour.

     Bet you’re wondering if I made all my gifts, thinking I am probably all talk and no action. Well, the truth is, I did make a lot of my gifts. Or rather, I wrote a book of poems for my family and close friends. I know how nerdy that makes me sound, but I have decided to embrace that aspect of my personality in the name of self-love and good mental health, something else that has also eluded me at times. Plus, somebody told me that lesbians are supposed to write a lot of bad poetry, being the serious, cause-oriented women that so many of us are. Since I’m not a huge fan of bumper-stickers like so many lesbians are, I’ll stick with my poetry. Hope I didn’t offend you lesbos with twenty bumper stickers on your car. NOT!

     So pipe down already if you are laughing at me. I know we’re in a recession and that all good Americans need to spend money to get the economy back on its feet. Maybe we should all chip in and save the healthcare system or spend the money we waste on trinkets and new cameras to fund solar and wind energy projects. Wouldn’t that be a good idea. I know. Too hard to wrap, right?

     Don’t worry. You don’t have to read my book of poems. Nobody much reads poetry anymore. My wish for you is that you slow down enough during the holidays to experience some poetry first hand in those perfect moments of each day.

     Happy Holidays.

[Via http://lesbianwink.wordpress.com]

The Female Myth: A Rant By Val

I just need to let off a little.  As I click around and read information, I am astounded by the amount of people, academics included, that seem to claim that almost every female bodily function during sex is a “myth.”  Female ejaculation is a possible “myth.”  The G Spot and the infamous G Spot orgasm? “myth.”  Whether or not women actually like sex? “myth.”

This pisses me off.  Why does nearly EVERYTHING involving women and sex a myth?!  I don’t want to hear bullshit answers like “research needs to be done,” “or we just aren’t advanced enough yet in technology,” “Or there’s no hard scientific evidence.”  I say that is a crock of shit.  If there is ANYTHING that should be the most researched and understood topic, it should be sex.  For fucking crying out loud, we have been having sex since the beginning of human history–it’s how we fucking reproduce!  It’s how we are still here!  How in the world after all of this time, can we not understand the female sexual body functions?!

And what more evidence do you need than a woman screaming at the top of lungs as she rides her guy like he’s an apeshit wildebeast to know that he’s hit her G spot?  Or what about when she comes so much that it’s dripping off of your chin and is literally soaking through the bedsheets to know that she is ejaculating?  And why is it still so uncommon, or mythological, for women to actually enjoy sex?!

Perhaps these so-called myths still exist because too many women are still being silent about sex, with their friends, their partners, and even with themselves.  Maybe some women shouldn’t even be having sex with men, but rather women, but are too afraid to go there.  Same goes with anal sex, porn, masturbation, and just overall sexual exploration and enjoyment.  Maybe the majority of women aren’t ejaculating because they aren’t telling their partners what they like and are just being complicit to their partner’s needs.  And maybe their lazy-ass patriarchal caveman boyfriends are too stupid and selfish to ask.  Maybe women aren’t having the best orgasms, or even an orgasm at all in some cases, because they are too hesitant to demand better sex lives for themselves.

Well ladies, I say its time to put this myth to rest.

I squirt when I come.

I have had a G spot orgasm.

And by God, I like sex.

And you should too.

[Via http://theundercoverlover.wordpress.com]

Not That There Was A Shortage Of Gays In Washington, DC - Gay Marriage Will Be Legalized Soon

The bill was passed yesterday 11-2. Congress now has 30 working days to act on the bill. Thanks to our Mayor Adrian Fenty who has promised to sign the bill and David Catania who introduced the bill and is one of two openly gay council members.

Of course, there are still a few homophobics who will try to get it overturned either in Congress or at the polls. But, according to our beloved district’s nonvoting delegate to Congress, Eleanor Holmes Norton, it doesn’t look like there will be any problem or opposition. The “no” votes included our former mayor and crackhead, Marion Barry, who said, “I don’t,” when it was his turn. I even didn’t now he was still involved with anything DC related.

Considering other four major States – California, New York, Maine, and New Jersey rejected such a law, I guess this is pretty symbolic for DC then. If the bill becomes law, the district will join Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts and Vermont in issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. They will be able to wed in New Hampshire starting in January.

So, I guess all these rallies worth it

[Via http://awesomedc.com]

Commentary - 2010: the Best Path to Restoration of Equality

There are two ballot initiative measures in circulation related to a proposed constitutional Convention. The first measure is titled the Citizens Constitutional Convention Act and would amend the existing California Constitution to allow a simple majority of California voters to call a constitutional convention. Currently, the state legislature must authorize a constitutional convention.

The second constitutional initiative measure being circulated  is a mandate for forming a  the actual  constitutional convention  commission under the aegis of the Fair Political Practices Commission. The Commission will determine the site and dates of the convention. The deadline for submitting the constitutional initiative petition signatures to the Secretary of State for validation is January 11th, 2010.

This constitutional convention could have adverse consequences for the restoration of marriage equality for members of the LGBT community.

First, because the constitutional convention  would not be allowed to take up marriage, abortion, and some other restricted matters, and, second, because  one of the purposes of such a convention would be to raise threshold for amending the California Constitution  from a simple majority to a two-thirds majority. This would make it virtually impossible to overturn the abolition of marriage equality that was put into the California Constitution with  passage of Proposition 8 in November of 2008.

According to “Repair California”, the group that is pushing the constitutional convention initiatives, roughly 70% of California voters support holding the convention to rewrite the California Constitution. If this group’s claims are accurate then it appears to be a near certainly that the convention will be approved by the voters in 2010. Such a convention will take place in 2011 and the revisions will then be submitted to the voters for approval  in 2012.

Should the LGBT community wait until 2012 to make a concerted effort to wrest back their right to marry? Should they wait until 2012 on the theory that it will take that long to change enough minds for equality to prevail at the ballot box?  But what happens if and when the Constitution is amended to require a two thirds vote in order to restore marriage equality in November of 2012? What will happen if  the higher  amendment threshold is passed in June of 2012?

The faction within the LGBT community that is holding out for 2012 to take it back to the ballot assert that the political climate of a presidential election will be more amenable to a youth turnout  that would yield a better margin for LGBT rights. If that is true, then how can Obama’s vote in California in 2008 be reconciled with the vote for repeal of marriage equality?

No one knows what the political lay of the land will look like in 2012. Right now, Obama is alienating a lot of the progressive base. These are the same progressives who supplied much of his 2008 margin of victory. What happens if the progressive base becomes ever more disenchanted? What happens if they stay home in November, 2012?

The safest and wisest path to restoration of marriage equality is to support the Restoration of Marriage Equality Initiative for the November 2010 ballot. The 2012 holdout faction within the LGBT community needs to realize the very real risks the whole community faces by holding out.  Waiting until the constitutional amendment threshold is raised could forever put marriage equality beyond reach for those who did not make it in during the brief window of marriage equality in 2008.  Delaying justice so that it is forever denied is not a viable option for me. Delaying equality and justice to those who are no longer able to exercise the right that was taken away from them in 2008 should not be an acceptable option for anyone.

Jay Hubbell

For more information on the 2010 Initiative to Restore Marriage Equality:

www.signforequality.com

[Via http://queerbakersfield.com]

Lesbian Fashion and Dressing for Holiday Parties

     Why is it that there are no lines of clothing for lesbians specifically. That’s not to say we aren’t women who can easily dress like other women. But the truth is that often we don’t want to dress exactly like other women. For me, I want to look sexy, without the stiletto heels and uncomfortable high fashion clothes. You could say I want to cheat. I want sex appeal without the pain and discomfort.

     We need women’s dress tuxedo-like suits that fit a woman’s curves. I always cringe when I see lesbians trying to fit their beautiful bodies into men’s tuxedos. It doesn’t typically work that well unless they are tall, thin, and less than voluptuous. Women’s bodies don’t adapt well to men’s clothes. You know it’s true. I’ve tried it. I like men’s clothing too, especially shirts. But the arms are too long, the shoulders are too broad, and the shirt hangs to my knees. So much for adapting.

     When in doubt during the holidays, wear sequins. You can wear an ordinary pair of black slacks and as long as there is some sparkle on the blouse or scarf, with some festive earrings and a necklace, you’re good to go. For those lesbos less inclined to indulge in jewelry, go with sparkles. Even butch girls can do sparkle, without feeling too prissy. Go ahead. You know you want to. Why should the lipsticks have all the fun.

     With scarves being all the rage, you can always go with a gorgeous scarf to dress up an ordinary outfit for the occasion. The stores are full of these perfect accessories. Not only are they affordable, they come in every possible color and fabric for those of you with wool allergies and other issues.

     If you keep three words in mind when you’re dressing for parties this year you’ll be fine. First look for sparkle. Second look for festive, which means anything that says…holiday when you wear it. And third look for a great fit that is comfortable. If your outfit incorporates these three words, you are good to go.

     Happy Holidays!

[Via http://lesbianwink.wordpress.com]

The Rats are Taking Over!!!

Some people would refer to that animal to the left as a dog. I respectfully disagree, chihuahuas are overgrown rats and apparently have infested California! According to the article they’re now the most abandoned pet… right ahead of pit bulls.

So queers do yourselves, and everyone else, a favor and stop buying toy dogs. They’re annoying, break easy and they’re taking over!

[Via http://queerfresno.com]

Wal-Mart Bans Gay Couple for NOT Shoplifting

This recent story I found at Box Turtle Bulletin is a perhaps not so startling example of how far we still have to go.

Timothy Kincaid

Not every confrontation that a gay person experiences in their life is based on their orientation. But sometimes it is very difficult to see any other possible explanation.

Take the experience that Joe Paolucci, Thomas Hitchcock, and their special need twins had recently with Wal-Mart.

Employees at the Niles, MI Wal-Mart store accused Paolucci of shoplifting some Bic lighters. Although he produced the receipt, they refused to back down, insisting that the two men go to a “detention room”. The employees, using vulgarities and hostility, frightened their special needs kids. (South Bend Tribune)

Paolucci said that while he and Hitchcock were attempting to calm down the boys, the employees ordered them to enter a “detention room” for questioning. Fearful of what might happen behind closed doors, he and Hitchcock refused to enter and asked to speak to a manager.

“Some guy came up and said, ‘I’m the manager,’ then turned around and left,” Hitchcock said.

Paolucci said he and Hitchcock then asked store personnel to call police. Within minutes, deputies from the Berrien County Sheriff’s Department’s Niles Township Patrol arrived, pleasing Paolucci who said he thought a few questions and a review of the store’s videotapes and computer records would quickly resolve the matter.

He said he was shocked when he was immediately handcuffed, without a question being asked, and placed in the back seat of a squad car. Hitchcock wasn’t handcuffed but also was placed in the back seat of a second squad car.

The twins, despite the protests of Paolucci and Hitchcock, were turned over to the store’s security personnel, who took them into the “detention room” or what police referred to as a security room.

A review of the security tapes proved that Paolucci and Hitchcock had done no wrong. So the store management profusely apologized and expressed their remose, right? No. They did not.

The two said they expected an apology and were surprised once again when personnel from the store walked up to the squad cars with the twins and read from a statement that Paolucci and Hitchcock had been banned by the store chain for life. Rather than shoplifting, the reason they were given was “being uncooperative.”

By the time they were read the statement, Paolucci and Hitchcock said, the twins had told them that the security staff had allegedly threatened them in the security room and had made disparaging remarks about Paolucci and Hitchcock’s lifestyle. Paolucci and Hitchcock said they asked police to take statements from the boys but the officers refused, telling the couple they’d have to contact Child Protective Services.

Wal-Mart even refused to replace frozen items that had now thawed due to their unprovoked misuse of their customers. Nor did the situation end at the harassment of the couple at the store.

Paolucci said the boys have suffered a type of post-traumatic stress disorder since the experience. Both wet their beds, although one has stopped, and both have had nightmares about one security employee in particular, he said.

“They’re terrified, horrified. We’ve had to change their medication twice,” he said.

And what does Wal-Mart corporate have to say?

Paolucci and Hitchcock e-mailed The Tribune a copy of a letter from a law firm representing Wal-Mart seeking 10 times the retail price of the items the store still claims were shoplifted by Paolucci. The letter states the matter will be dropped if Paolucci submits the $158.40 payment.

Now this is not the first time that Wal-Mart has been perceived as hostile to gay Americans. In 2007, HRC advised against giving our business to Wal-Mart, and just in April of this year, the CEO signed his name to a petition to ban gay couples from adopting.

Wal-Mart doesn’t care about my opinion. And there’s little I can do to impact their decision to treat gay customers with hostility.

But perhaps there are those, even in Niles, MI, who will decide that this situation is just one too many. That they cannot give their custom to bad neighbors. That it may be worth an extra nickle and a further drive to frequent the stores that do not abuse customers solely because they “disapprove of their lifestyle” and who admit it and apologize when they are wrong.

All I can do is spread the word.

Posted to

Box Turtle Bulletin11/07/09

Low prices aren’t always a good reason to shop somewhere.  Principle matters.  I’ve not been in a Wal-Mart in about 2 years, and I don’t plan on shopping in one again.

(as in our disclaimer posted elsewhere, these are my views only, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Queer Visalia, Queer Networks, Inc., or other posters here.)

[Via http://queervisalia.com]