It could have something to do with suppressing my sexuality for the first 18/19 years of my life, and only fully realizing it this year… but I think I’m a little in love with everything female. Is that normal? I find a pretty woman in every new room I enter. In one of my writing classes, there are about four girls I fall a little bit in love with every single class session. There’s the gorgeous, sensuous and yet understated Indian woman who sits diagonally behind me. Her voice is a beautiful melody that intrigues me as much as it bewilders me. There’s the exotic looking woman who sits across the room– I can’t quite figure out where she must be from– with gorgeous, gorgeous dark eyes and hair that frames her face exactly the same way. She’s smart, really intellectual, but I can’t get her to smile at me to save my life… And then there’s the smattering of other girls who just wear the right outfit that day, or say the right thing, or have the right twinkle in their eye… And suddenly I’m imagining what life with “her” could be like– this woman I know nothing about, but can imagine anything with.
*Sigh*. I’m never going to have happy relationships, I’m too busy falling a little in love with every girl I see. All well, off to sleep for now, to dream of my love for today.
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